It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize