i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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