I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize