That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
