omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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