If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize