did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
