so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
