even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
