he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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