To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize