There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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