I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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