You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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