I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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