At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
