So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well I just put wine in my tea
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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