its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
