make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize