i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
