Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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