carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
