He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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