people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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