doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
