Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
