Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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