Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
