Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
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