So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
