Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
