Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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