There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
