Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
