Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
