Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We are two peas in an std pod
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
