Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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