R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
organizing the empties. That sober.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
