is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
