i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
