just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
