were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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