i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
