If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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