I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
