the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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