Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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