I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
