remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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