just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize