guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
