Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
