You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
