i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
