She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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