He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
