We won't sleep together?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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