So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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