What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
